Friday, June 19, 2015

Residencies Spring 2-15

I was fortunate enough to have 3 wonderful teachers and 3 wonderful teaching residencies this spring.  I learned so much about myself and about the students.  It was a gift to be able to accomplish all we did and I am grateful to have shared my time with so many students.




Reflections

In the month of December
we would wake
holding hands
feeling that pulse of life
transmitting from one to the other
it was not our usual way of waking up
yet, each morning we found ourselves
connected in some way during our dream time
we marveled at this, after 15 years
new habits of love surprising both of us
I miss that wake up time
that new day dawning
where we might discuss a day's adventure or upcoming work
often, he would let me doze while he took dogs out
setting chickens free in the early day
the fresh smell of coffee
makes me feel those happy times over and over again
It is that connection to another human
where two become one
finishing thoughts or picking up where one is slowing down
I did not foresee his slowing down
sometimes it still catches me by surprise
that he is not here physically
when it feels tough
he will not allow me to fall deeper
Indigo is my rescue when I sob in my sleep
resting her golden head next to mine
touching paw to hand until morning time
these dogs ground me
a reason to keep taking it one day at a time
sometimes, one moment gets me through
he is my missing piece
not a hole in me
just that reminder of a huge space he filled
with such gentleness
waking my soul to happy times

Sunday, June 14, 2015

Healing Waters

What a day
for Moses to swim like a giant seal
merging nostrils to water
showing his toothy grin
his expression of joy
while Indigo holds onto his leash
being towed along like Dennis the Menace
Viki on her back
encouraging Mo to swim, swim and swim
like a mighty tiger in the salty sea
it was good to merge myself
allowing the warm water to soak my skin
walking on blades of grass
so hot from the sun
nearly scorching my feet
dogs now sleeping on cold, tile floors
twitching as if they still swim
passed out after an afternoon
where playfulness becomes an instant release
from the chapters that have dragged me down
the sea shall call me home

Monday, June 8, 2015

Osprey

Osprey is back
I think they are nesting
in the swamp behind the pond
the wind carries their bird cries
early in the morning and late at night
tonight, one flew over me in a lazy circle
landing in the tree where I could see him
I felt if I could close my eyes
I would see Rick with outstretched hand
his wish to be a falconer
and now he is the falcon
no boundaries to hold him here
except my aching heart
my waking hours spent in our work
dream time is replaying
how we met
grew in our love
vanquishing demons along the way
I thank God in my dark times
for giving me the time and grace
and most of all Rick Page

Monday, June 1, 2015

Conviction

There is magic in the water
one of Rick Page's passwords on the computer
was
The sea shall call her home
I felt him with me tonight
an almost full moon rising
a stingray leaping from the water
slapping hard and vanishing in the surface
Viki ahead on her paddle board
a silhouette blending into the dock
Paul, his first attempt in a kayak
smiling at his success
us singing Happy Birthday to him
our voices skipping across the water
my phrase for the week is
Conviction of the Heart
his heart and mine
not just for a season
with me for this lifetime
my eternal gratitude
for his love and conviction of the heart
thank you for bringing me home

Thursday, May 28, 2015

Dreaming

When they say this is the new norm
I don't really understand
it still just feels like he is away
but will come home soon
sitting on the couch
my urge is to reach for his hand
instead Indigo sneaks up like a sniper
finding her way into my lap
Moses follows me to my side of the bed
where I cannot help the tears
that come
he quietly puts his head in my lap
I touch Rick's box of ashes like a talisman
light sage and blow it gently for both of us
say my nightly prayers
whispering like my mom used to do
sweet dreams, I will see you in the morning

Thursday, May 21, 2015

Osprey at the outdoor shower

Since I have come back to North Carolina for the last three late afternoons when I go to take my outdoor shower overlooking the pond, an Osprey has flown and landed each time in the tree on the other side of the pond.  I looked up the meaning and it is:  - The osprey is connected to all aspects of solar worship. And can come into one's life to emphasise the value and healing properties of the sun, and to help those who practice mystically or spiritually to facilitate sun-god communion.

- An osprey doesn't wait for the fish to jump out of the water to meet him, instead he splashes in headfirst into an element that he could not survive within. He even places his head under the water - unlike sea-eagles. He teaches us how to plunder our resources and the necessity to move outside of our comfort zones in order to do this. Osprey teaches us to take risks, and to not be frightened of grasping opportunities just because they seem like they're out of our reach.

- An appearance of osprey in your life can indicate an appearance of the spirit in the form of the Beacon, coming to guide you back to a place of safety or security, or to a feeling of groundedness.