Saturday, August 1, 2015

White Heron

Two golden days in a row
a morning paddle in the salt marsh
white herons standing on pencil thin black legs
bright yellow beaks against their snowy feathers
flying in silence as we float past
sitting on the board
my eyes close in the morning sun
the quietness stilling my heart
at home I work on a turtle table
zen doodling all afternoon
time passing so quickly
and I realize I have made it a good day
I am thankful for my work
being a turtle nest parent tonight
North Carolina has called me home

Friday, July 31, 2015

Turtles

By the light of a blue moon
water rising in tides of blues and grays
white caps on the waves
and a turtle nest showing signs of life
at first only one tiny flipper emerging from the sand
we wait nearly 2 hours and it waves at us
then another head emerges
sand in his eyes like a sleepy child
and then the moment we had waited for
flippers, legs, heads and a sudden surge
48 sibling loggerhead babies
boiling to the surface
headed down our man made trench
we named it the great wall of Ocean Isle Beach
their tiny tracks and glistening shells
hurry, hurry hear the ocean calling them home

Friday, July 24, 2015

Ella

My neighbor Ella
nicknamed "Monk"
let me send her a text the other day
Girl, she says, are you okay?
You seem like your going a little crazy
I asked her
Can you fix me?
Well, she said
I can certainly fix your hair
So I sat down in her kitchen
while she got out her cutting scissors
highly decorated in a Zebra pattern
She teaches cosmetology at Cape Fear College
Boy, she says, I been dying to cut your hair
You sit yourself down and let's see what I can fix
I asked her, how do you fix yourself when you feel so bad inside
she thinks for a moment
Well, I mostly sits myself down and watches movies
on Netflix til that bad feeling go away
I tell her, I think I might need about a week of constant TV
She says, you got your work honey
making and creating
Take those memories, turn them into something real pretty
You'll feel better if you do
There she says with a grin
I just took 10 years off and you look cute
To my surprise, she has taken most of my hair off
I feel a little like a pixie
and I do feel better
She says, reach out to others
help where you can
Life will get better
and remember I bet this is the first time you EVER
got your hairs cut by a black woman
I laugh and say, that is the truth
Closing the door to her house
I may have just made a friend

Sunday, July 19, 2015

Vincent Van Gogh

Pretty soon
another star will either shine like no other
or fade until we forget it existed at all
which star would you be?
the one we see constantly and recognize
for its brightness in the sky
or the one we wish we had noticed more
because suddenly it is no longer apparent in the sky
do we remember it for its color and brilliance
or just the fact that we miss it for not being there anymore?
My star I hold in my secret place in my heart
he shines with a strong flame
without his light, I might be lost and floundering
his heart, although not physically strong
has a light and power that nothing can put out
I have daily reminders that he is with me
and also with his children
subtle ways to show his spirit is strong
guiding us when we might feel misdirected
I am grateful when he points out the obvious
and even more so when he sends me on a treasure hunt
to discover I knew how to do it all along
I miss you with all my heart and soul
Love, such a difficult word to encompass
although words are not enough
Acceptance for our human frailties covers most of it

Wednesday, July 15, 2015

Weathering storms

Navigating the storms
ones inside and out
sometimes it is just waiting it out
rain falling like the tears that stain my face
seeing the replenishment and the grass growing green 
almost immediately
after being brittle as straw
some days my heart and head are strong
I feel resilient like the captain is at my side
other days, the dogs remind me to feed them
and I think of feeding my self in soul first
body not as important
Even on my paddle board
I look for the resting places
where the board holds still
I remember how to breath
and then my paddle comes down
dipping into the green waters
pushing me forward
sometimes with the extra weight
of the Mighty Mo or Indigo
and I think
I can do this
There is tangible love and support around me
I too am able to reciprocate what I am receiving
this is living
breath to breath
storm to storm
moment to moment
tiny triumphs
like looking at the stars
or taking the outdoor shower under an array of lightning bugs
all infused with the Love that will always
always, always show itself in strength and peace

Saturday, July 11, 2015

New day

She hears me at night
muffled cries that I find myself
trying to hide from my dogs
Indigo sneaks up to the loft
lays her golden head across my heart
ours beat together
just like Rick's open heart used to
allowing me to see things
in simple light
sometimes despite the day
the light has dimmed
Today is a struggle
Finding myself paddling his kayak
tide pushing me in directions I was working against
My hope for the day and night
to find a quiet place inside
where her heart and mine beat as one
and we fall asleep
dreaming of his heart joining ours
giving us the strength and courage
for the new day dawning

Sunday, July 5, 2015

Thankful

I am thankful for the people who hold me up
pick me up after a stumble or fall
give me a little shake now and then
pointing out that living each moment
is a path towards gaining clarity
and above all happiness
tears are my friend too
as they remind me that the love is real
worth all the cost of having it
even for such a brief earthly time
peace to all my friends
who show me glimmers of hope
and light
gently urging me forward
I hope my love is apparent to all of you